Mental Health Needs a New Approach.

Last September a group of us from #SameHere🤙 Global, including doctors & even athletes like @rwalk56 were asked to come out & be part of a mission to Korea, to bring mental health & suicide prevention education to our troops serving overseas.

These were Air Force & Army bases all over the Korean Peninsula. This trip was not for the faint of heart…we rode in vans all over the mountainous areas - reaching bases, doing all day trainings, then getting back late at night, only to start up early & do it all over again.

We wanted to get to as many bases & Officers & Enlisteds as possible, as the reason we’d been brought out there was - there were a large number of suicides on the bases in the 6 months before our arrival, as well as a large number of hospitalizations from suicide attempts in that 6 month period. I’m being purposely vague w the numbers, w intention.

We dove in w all 5 Pillars of our programming at each base: Presentations, Workshops, Implementation Sessions. We showed them how to use the SameHere Scale app to keep the convo & common language going long after we left.

Once again, I’m not at liberty to give out the exact number, but in the 6 months since our visit, suicides, suicide attempts, & hospitalizations due to ideations are down significantly. Obviously there are many reasons beyond our visit that go into those declines, but to be a part of turning the tides on these awful trends - it means the world.

These men & women go through great suffering serving our country. Even w no “bullets fired,” imagine being “on the ready” halfway arnd the world, w 3 or 4 nearby enemy countries having eyes & weapons on you at all times.

This Memorial Day we honor all those we have lost - in duty & from the wars taking place in their minds. Thank you!🇺🇸

#5in5 #memorialday #veterans #activeduty #war #memorialday2025 #mentalhealth

Thought abt this concept when watching the Knicks game last nt. Sport is such a great metaphor for life. A few example from the NBA, & then transitioning it to our everyday experiences:

A loss late in the playoffs only hurts that much more - to players, to fans, because of how far you’ve already advanced. You have a chance to lose what you already “have” - a magical run & possibilities.

When a player on a team is the 11th man/woman, & never gets off the bench…this is someone who for their entire lives was told how great they were, advanced to the highest leagues, won titles & awards, only to be watching - feeling like they aren’t good enough to contribute at that level.

The team’s Legends sitting in the crowd & cheering the team on - they remember what it’s like for their world to revolve arnd Ws & Ls, to be the toast of the town…now they watch as they grow grayer & others in their prime - receive the attention/have the fun of playing.

Just some examples, but w every great thing these athletes have - they also deal w the inevitable (& that’s the key word bc none of us get to keep things forever) loss, that can jar someone even more, from the great heights they once felt.

With pros so many skeptically say: Big deal, they make millions…cry me a river. But the examples above hurt, no matter how much $ you have. $ doesn’t cover up loss of things we love.

Take it out of sport - humans compare. We ask: Why did that person grow up w both parents, & mine were divorced? But similarly - what someone “has,” that we don’t - often is felt later in life as a tremendous loss (bc OF what they once had).

And so the takeaway is - maybe we learn to make do w what we DO have, now. Maybe our lack “compared” to others, is teaching us greater resiliency, meaning, purpose, drive. No matter our lot, we ALL deal w change & loss: it just happens at diff times in our lives & in diff ways. Pain is pain tho: #5in5

#SameHere🤙 #loss #grief #mourning #emotionalpain #comparisons #yinyang #mentalhealth

These two programs were shared w me arnd the same time last wk, & so I felt it was appropriate to discuss both in the context of programs that are positioned to us to be helpful, but are actually making matters worse.

First you have a suicide screener. One parent reached out to me from NY & said her kid left the office saying he didn’t want to see this doc any more. Apparently the doc had given him the card you see on slide 2➡️, no context for why he was asking the question, no discussion. The kid wasn’t bringing up signs he’d been struggling. So…the best practice is to have him fill out a card, the 1st question of which is: “In the past few wks, have you wished you were dead?” I checked w 3 parents in 3 other states, & they confirmed the same happened w their children.

I’m all for proactive suicide DISCUSSION, thru EDUCATION, abt how trauma is felt by all of us, & what CAN happen if we become so dysregulated that we start to experience self harm error messages. I am NOT for jarring a kid who has no context, & asking a series of questions abt death & suicide, w/o discussion. Talk about scaring someone INTO a worse MH spot. What are we doing?

3rd slide is Canada’s MAiD program: Medical Assistance in Dying. Yes, that’s the name. And circled on the brochure is: it may take up to 4 months to find counseling, but you can die by MAiD in just 3 months. You have that right - a program that acknowledges counseling may help, is saying - why suffer a possible extra month if you can end things sooner.

These program are just 2 examples that lack empathy, EQ, compassion, & hope. They talk abt suicide in awful ways that SET BACK help seeking: 1) in scaring kids away from talking abt the topic, the other in saying - it’s faster & more efficient to die, than to wait for help.

We have so many factors in our new fast-paced world working against us, that the last thing we need is programs positioned as “help,” making matters worse.

Hope hearing of these helps you avoid them, & keeps them away from your kids if you agree. Share to help other fams avoid these programs.

#SaneHere🤙 #5in5 #maid #suicideprevention #programs #mentalhealth #assistedsuicide #suicidescreeners

Had such an incredible experience this wknd that gave us even more motivation to continue on the same path, that I wanted to share it w those of you who read these, in the hopes it 1) highlights how much more the same we really are than what you typically hear, & 2) motivates you to keep going w whatever you’re passionate about.

I met @jordanmeyers from @findingalostvoice in 2019. He’s a musician, I’m not. He went to school to play in the band, I didn’t. Tho he can shoot some hoops, he didn’t walk on to his college basketball team. He grew up in FL, me in NY. But we connected - over common pain we’d experienced in our own lives, & wanting to help others not experience that pain.

Fast fwd, Tony, Jordan’s friend from the music world, was putting together a big roller hockey tourney - & wanted Jordan’s charity & another national charity, to be involved. That’s where Tony & I got to meet.

Welll the tourney was this wknd. @butteryrollerco putting on @wheelingforwellness. Met so many amazing ppl. And at the end (next slide), Tony surprised Jordan & I w custom jerseys w our org’s names on the back, signed by every team captain.

On the front shoulder was a “23” in a blue/purple suicide ribbon. I asked why that #. Tony told us it was bc he’d lost his great friend, Abdullah, to suicide 7yrs ago. Hence the motivation for our MH charities to be involved.

I then asked if Abdullah’s fam was present. He said they were, & he was abt to present them w their own jerseys. We asked if we could go speak w the fam. What resulted was 30 min of absolute love - btwn ppl who’ve never met, look completely diff, are diff ages, & from diff parts of the world (Abdullah’s dad is Palestinian but lived in Israel, & mom is from Venezuela (she’s a breast cancer survivor).

The commonality of our emotional pain bonded all of us: Jordan’s story is not mine. He & I didn’t lose a son to suicide. But…our missions & philosophies couldn’t be more aligned.

Much like fams like @cherylmcbrown have become my fam, so too are Abdullah’s crew, now fam. You don’t want to meet THIS way…but when you do - you realize how much the SAME we are deep down.

#SameHere🤙 #5in5 #suicideprevention #hockey

Two of my friends I met thru this space, @cherylmcbrown & @michelelovetri separately sent me the article/story you’ll see on the 2nd slide ➡️.

Cheryl & Michele don’t know each other. Cheryl lost her beautiful daughter McKenna to suicide. Michele’s been a long time advocate open abt her own struggles.

Different angles they come into this space from, but both told me they were taken by the same line: how (slide➡️) the mother-in-law of the family that passed in this m*rder/suicide, does not blame the husband. She blames a mind that got sick & couldn’t find the right help - despite repeated efforts.

Her take & share on Facebook is important to share for SO many reasons:

1) While I’m not a label person, I do believe our nervous system gets dyregulated, & the symptoms we feel are that of the body being in a sick state & how our genes get expressed. Symptoms like dissociation, agoraphobia, & in this case, psychosis.

2) If we understand that model, then just like someone can have cancer, & you take them all around for treatment & the cancer sadly still wins out…so too can this happen w our nervous system. The current model yes is mostly flawed & is treating symptoms instead of root causes - but this is all the more reason why we need to have compassion for those we lose this way, & their family & loved ones: just like we do when we lose people to cancer & other ways the body gives out.

3) If we normalize the two above, & educate, there will be less shaming, which will lead to greater & earlier help seeking...greater awareness as to what to do early, if one feels those self harm error messages, to find help. Mental health challenges often happen TO us, just like any other type of health.

If all of the above can be seen by a grandma who lost her family in this way, surely we as a society can better understand suicide, self harm, & even harm to others in this way. No one wants to see these tragedies continue. The current model & understanding isn’t working. Compassion, empathy & education - what to do if you’re feeling these errors messages, what providers can do to better get to the source…that’s our path toward turning these trends arnd.

#SameHere🤙 #5in5

If you’ve been following along in Stories, you’ve seen that I’ve been on this kick lately, upset at what I’m seeing w so many “influencers” who’ve been drawing ppl in w emotional posts abt “what others did to you that now makes you feel this way”…& then why their program’s gonna fix you.

I put up a poll abt this in Stories the last 24hrs. Over 100 voted!! 98% said you recognize this grift going on (slide➡️).

But here’s the thing - as I was taking the train home from the Knicks game last nt, the “pattern” I’ve been seeing hit me (yes it’s ridic I wasn’t just celebrating a W, but my mind can wanders at strange times 😂).

Ok, so - this term trauma has been popularized in the last few yrs. We’re at the pt where ppl realize that trauma doesn’t just happen to folks in the military, & doesn’t need to be a catastrophic event. These are all good/impt realizations. They help normalize the #5in5 reality, that at various times in our lives - we all go thru “it.” And “it” is impacted MH.

That said, I realized last nt that the vagueness of trauma is being used AGAINST so many of us. How?

We all feel emotional pain. We 1) all want an explanation for why & 2) all want it to go away.

Here’s the thing tho - if folks online w huge accts can tell you that your pain is BECAUSE OF this person/these ppl,l - you have someone to blame. You have your explanation. You can vent & be upset w them & it feels good to let that out.

BUT, we get addicted to that surge of venting & blame. AND it explains “why” we feel like we do, & gives us an out from the work, bc: well they did this TO us.

But trauma is what happens IN the body. Only we can work on & heal that, & that healing takes just that - work.

Most who’ve been thru therapy/done work, get this concept. But think abt how many out there (consider only 10% go to therapy), see these msgs & believe - ok this influencer’s telling my that this person in my life is THE reason I feel like this…& then either coast on that addiction to blame & vent & come back to the page to feel that surge/vent w others. Or, get sold on a fix.

Yes you need tools, but you don’t need your focus to be on who did anything TO you.

#SameHere🤙 #trauma

It’s Mother’s Day, & with all the mom bashing we see from influencers online, daily…sadly, yes - daily, here’s a different perspective.

Not a long caption, bc hopefully the sentiments are captured in the slides. No mom is/was perfect. We can’t even say every mom tried their hardest to be the best mom they could.

But, we can have compassion for moms & all they must go through. All they carry (literally & figuratively). All the traumas from their lives that (especially for the generation that’s now moms & grandmas) weren’t understood, didn’t have a game plan, & therapy wasn’t normalized, etc.

We don’t need to forgive all the wrongs. But at the same time, we don’t need to live being told by influencers how awful our moms were, & that their classes or courses or strategies will save the day.

Sometimes having compassion for those in our lives who struggled - even if the struggle was unfairly projected - is the way we take back power & heal.

#SameHere🤙 #5in5 #happymothersday #mothersday #mothersday2025 #mentalhealth #compassion #empathy #learn

Short caption today, bc what needs to be said is in the slides. We need change in this space. The same old-same old, is not working. And, influencers & companies are getting rich, while so many continue to suffer.

Some examples as to what we can change, & why➡️.

#SameHere🤙 #5in5 #Campaigns #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #mhawareness #mhawarenessmonth #influencerculture #statistics #mentalhealth #movements #changeneeded #changeisneeded #changeisnow

This past wk we had an awesome pregame discussion abt bullying at Citi Field w the Mets, & 4,500 of their closest school friends - students/teachers/parents.

The Mets have been great partners at bringing impt convos to the community. You’ll see a pic of when we first started working w them in their offices➡️ & they wanted to be trained in how to talk abt this topic w care. They walk the walk in terms of the programming being impactful.

For this particular event, since it was sold as a convo abt bullying, a few things to note:

1) We did not call it “Anti-Bullying” or “Say No To Bullying.” In the spirit of not wanting to “other,” we went a diff direction bc those campaigns put us on sides & point fingers at those who we are saying are “wrong.” Instead, our message was abt inclusion & what we can get to know abt each other. Why people project pain on to others thru bullying.

2) We brought our good friend, pro boxer @boydmelson out, to share his insights. When kids see public figures who’ve achieved great heights, talking abt their own experiences, they’re more likely to relate - that this topic applies to ALL of us, #5in5.

3) We went deep & discussed Jarren Duran…his share abt his struggles bc of what fans were saying to him AND the most recent incident in Cleveland where a fan actually bullied him abt his openness abt his suicide attempt.

What blew us away is that - the Mets folks told us that the DBacks players who were warming up in left field by us, stopped when they heard that convo, & came over to listen. They said the players were nodding along as we were talking abt what they face as well - no matter how much $ they make. That gave us goosebumps.

Got to bring my dad, a kidney donor, & intro him to the crowd - you’ll see a pic of us on the field➡️. Finally, 1st inning, 2 security guards came to our seats. We thought to check our tix. Instead held out their hands & said: “Thank you for that convo, it deeply resonated.”

We can stop bullying by coming together, educating, sharing pain…instead of just trying to stop it punitively, alone.

#SameHere🤙 #mets #citifield #jarrenduran #bullying #cyberbullying #bullyingprevention

This story, which came out just a few days ago, abt social media “influencer” Misha Agarwal - both shocked me, & then also sadly didn’t surprise me at all, as I thought more abt it. Obviously an awful tragedy where we support the Agarwal fam, & then one where we’re thankful also to them for gifting us the story, so that it can be learned from.

Some bkgrnd & key takeaways:

Mukta, Misha’s older sister, shared that Misha was fixated on reaching 1 Mill followers on IG & had also set it as her phone’s wallpaper. “She built her world around Instagram & her followers…When her followers started decreasing, she became distraught & felt worthless.”

Muktka continued: “She would often hug me crying, saying, what will I do if my followers decrease? My career will be over.”

However in “real” life, Misha had a law degree & was preparing for judicial examinations!! Mukta pleaded w her sister: “I told her she would become a judge one day & didn’t need to worry about his followers.”

What has society turned into - that a young woman w a law degree, on her way to being a judge at only 24, thinks her life is over bc her social following has decreased/wont hit some made-up goal?!

Real talk: Having higher numbers feels good. Whatever your goal on here. For us, it’s to help more people. BUT we have also seen the way these channels can CHOOSE to CRUSH your reach, w almost nothing to do w your content & everything to do w what they think drives emotion/online sales, to benefit THEM.

Social media numbers are driven by how many your post is SHOWN to, not necessarily how valuable the info is, or how nice your dress is/isnt.

It is a TOOL to communicate, it is NOT the world itself. In our case - if we want to impact folks, truly, it’s why we’re on the road so often, in-person. These numbers say NOTHING abt the worth we bring to the world.

Don’t let these things define you. It’s a nice to have, not a need to have. Your value comes in how you are of service to others, NOT what these dashboards say. We have to instill this in kids (& yes, even many adults). You’re not a number.

#MishaAgarwal #SameHere🤙 #5in5 #suicideprevention #numbersdontmatter #youreworthit #mentalhealth #reallife