Mental Health Needs a New Approach.

Heard this at a graduation speech - from a 17 year old in HS!!

It was advice his grandfather had given him. Advice about the duality of life. Pretty incredible when you see those opposite words next to each other, & realize that they each have the same number of letters. Makes you understand just what a fine line there is between each.

Sometimes we can choose one vs the other…and sometimes based on what life hands us, that perspective seems near impossible.

In the case of this particular grandfather, it sounds like he was able to choose to at least focus, for much of his life, on the positive. It was the advice he gave his grandson when he asked: “How have you been so successful your whole life and accomplished so much?”

And the grandfather imparted that knowledge on a grandchild who (from the clip of the speech) adored him.

This speech was shared one year after that grandfather had passed: to suicide.

And I thought about it - he taught such an important lesson about duality w his words, to his grandson, & then his life, & how it ended, also shows duality…That someone can choose positivity in most cases…can impart that wisdom on others…and yet we can still lose them in this way.

And sadly as humans we have to accept that. But we have to learn from it…bc suicide is most often NOT a rational choice or decision. It’s a breakdown of our health, just like a heart attack or stroke. The sooner we accept that as a society, the sooner we will increase help seeking behaviors, & the sooner we will make a dent in those suicide & overdose numbers.

#SameHere🤙 #5in5 #duality #grandfather #grandson #grandparents #relationships #suicideprevention

Even if we’ve been on long healing journeys - this is a path we personally know all too well…& it’s a path we see in loved ones & friends we get frustrated with, when we want them to change so badly.

When we’re caught in the thick of things, however, it’s hard to take a step back & see the bigger picture.

Our nervous systems are wired for safety, because it’s what keeps us alive. But safety often means staying w a pattern or action or behavior or routine that’s familiar - even if it may not be what’s best for us.

Here are some examples:

- The person who busies themselves w work all day, non stop - first in the office/last out, until they come home & pass out & do it all over again in the morn.

- The person who goes to the gym & does the same routine - & feels like they can’t miss a day of “what has worked.”

- The person who stays in a toxic relationship & keeps going back to that same partner you know isn’t good for them.

Just three examples, but they all have a common theme - staying w the pain the person knows, for fear of what different pain might feel like.

The person who’s constantly working may be afraid to slow down & be still bc it means listening to the thoughts that arise in their head/sensations in their body (feels scary). The person w the same gym routine is afraid their weight will fluctuate w any change to the familiar pattern (feels scary). The person in the toxic relationship is afraid they won’t find someone else, if they leave (feels scary).

For you, for your fam member or friend - growth happens when we break that addictive cycle to our own familiar pain.

It’s so worth it to step out & try. But it’s so hard to do.

One piece of advice in helping others: no one’s willing to try when you point this out to them in a way that shows your frustration w them. It only works when you can walk them thru the explanation as to what they may be missing out on, tell them you’ll be there to hold their hand through it, & explain what benefits will comes when they make it to “the other side.”

#SameHere🤙 #5in5 #familiarpain #pain #emotionalpain #addiction #breakfree #cyclebreaker #nervoussystem

Maybe a controversial post….but, one (opinion here) I think should be anything but controversial.

I’m hoping there are folks out there like me…I’m hoping there are companies out there like ours, that are tired of the divisive rhetoric that’s torn the fabric of this country, & this world, apart.

It’s been gnawing at me for years, but this most recent run of: Memorial Day > Pride Month > Men’s MH Awareness Month (even if MDW is the wknd before) how few companies - and specifically companies in the mental health space, acknowledge all 3 of these wknds/months!

Rhetorical questions but: Do veterans not deal w MH complications? Do LGBT folks not deal w MH complications? Do Men not deal w MH complications?

I believe most reading this would agree - all 3 groups deal w MH complications & need resources, & yet here we are in 2025, & you can’t find many/any companies acknowledging that all 3 wknds/months exist, let alone providing links to resources that can help folks from these groups.

I shared some of the news headlines on upcoming slides ➡️ that have addressed these very issues: companies either afraid to acknowledge pride…or telling their employees not to have American flags on their desks or windows.

Everything we do as humans has a yin & a yang. There’s some good/some bad.

Being real & direct here: You may like parts of pride (people can be who they are) & not others (believing certain message or displays are over the top). You may like parts of America (free speech) & not others (believing in systemic issues).

I just don’t get the polarization of ALL good, or ALL bad…& I don’t get that if you put up a flag/banner of any of these, then you are all of the “bad” that comes w a “side” you are put on.

MH is for ALL, #5in5. But when we separate - it helps fewer folks…& it actually makes the collective MH of our citizens - worse. Would love to see more orgs have the guts to be leaders & provide resources & messaging for ALL, especially when they have phrases like America, or National, IN their names. Let’s stop the division - we can be the change.

#SameHere🤙 #mensmentalhealth #pride #veterans #mentalhealthishealth #mentalhealthforall #unity

If you grew up in the era when ESPN was king, before all the fragmentation in the sports media landscape, John Brenkus was a household name. Much like our buddy @darrenrovell John found a way to combine 2 passions: (in his case, sports & science) & bring it to the biggest stage.

On that stage, he shined. Intelligent, witty, interesting, & perhaps most applicable to today’s news: full of energy/w an infectious smile.

That’s why it came as a shock last nt, when Darren texted me abt this news. First & most impt, so much love being sent to John’s family, friends, & colleagues.

Second, there’s so much to be learned from this passing, bc John was a public figure, & we have so much video of him when he was alive - in his career, & talking abt his MH battles. Those key learnings are on these slides ➡️:

1) He described his suicidal funk & haze, yrs ago, in an incident before his passing. His line was “what am I doing?” as his dog tugged on his pants & woke him from that haze. Takeaway: suicide is NOT a conscious choice. Just like the heart succumbs when there’s an attack bc of an arterial blockage, the nervous system succumbs to overwhelm w impulsive error msgs of self harm.

2) He communicated that he’d found an “answer” & a “solution.” Sadly, in MH, there is no “answer.” MH lives & moves on a continuum, that’s never ending. It’s not a “disease” that you first have, then are cured from. It’s something you constantly have to manage…& sadly as is the case here, can rear its ugly head at any time.

3) @rgiii take on the loss is very helpful & moves the convo fwd. He talks abt “losing his battle with…” This removes shame & blame, & moves the convo fwd, so that we can accurately talk abt MH like we do physical health.

4) Any time we lose a public figure to MH/suicide/overdose, it is a GIFT from the fam, when they come out & share the cause of death. There should be no shame in a person’s brain/body succumbing to a battle - he’s clearly been fighting for some time & didn’t WANT to die from (the videos couldn’t be more obvious).

RIP to a legend who changed the game.

#SameHere🤙 #5in5 #johnbrenkus #sportsscience #espn #suicideprevention

Had an event w the Brooklyn Nets & Inspiring Minds NYC at @gleasonsgym this past week.

Why at a boxing gym? A number of reasons - 1) The Nets have a boxing brand, “Brooklyn Boxing” bc of all the matches that they host at Barclays Center, 2) Inspiring Minds told the Nets that the youth they work w have had a number of events where boxing has been involved, & the kids have loved the movement (see slides for pics ➡️), 3) The Nets wanted us to bring STARR (Stress & Trauma Active Release & Rewiring) “Gym for the Brain” Exercise to the kids for an hour after they boxed - combining the physical health activity w the MH activity.

We are marketed to - in TV commercials, on social, in press releases, on product advertisements - that mental health “happens in the brain.” Latest research shows that over 80% of people in the US believe that mental health exclusively happens as a result of a chemical imbalance in the brain.

But the reality is, so much of how we feel mentally/emotionally, is based on how safe our BODY feels. When we go through challenging life events - structures like the vagus nerve, the HPA Axis, & the gut are impacted…systems like our lymphatic system & circulatory system are impacted…our meridian highways must deal w blockages & stagnant energy. Those impacts make our body feel anything but safe.

When we want to work on ourselves emotionally, staying “in the brain” exclusively either w talk therapy or perseverating & trying to find the fix & “outthink our MH” - lands us in a worse spot.

Mental health healing takes quieting the cognitive brain, creating safety in the body, & doing exercises that heal affected structures, circuits, & systems, amidst that safety.

Awesome to see a pro sports team get “it”…& shy away from a panel of talking heads, & instead put a Boxing + STARR Exercise circuit event together. We need more of this!

#SameHere🤙 #5in5 #gleasonsgym #BrooklynBoxing #MentalHealth #Exercises

Last September a group of us from #SameHere🤙 Global, including doctors & even athletes like @rwalk56 were asked to come out & be part of a mission to Korea, to bring mental health & suicide prevention education to our troops serving overseas.

These were Air Force & Army bases all over the Korean Peninsula. This trip was not for the faint of heart…we rode in vans all over the mountainous areas - reaching bases, doing all day trainings, then getting back late at night, only to start up early & do it all over again.

We wanted to get to as many bases & Officers & Enlisteds as possible, as the reason we’d been brought out there was - there were a large number of suicides on the bases in the 6 months before our arrival, as well as a large number of hospitalizations from suicide attempts in that 6 month period. I’m being purposely vague w the numbers, w intention.

We dove in w all 5 Pillars of our programming at each base: Presentations, Workshops, Implementation Sessions. We showed them how to use the SameHere Scale app to keep the convo & common language going long after we left.

Once again, I’m not at liberty to give out the exact number, but in the 6 months since our visit, suicides, suicide attempts, & hospitalizations due to ideations are down significantly. Obviously there are many reasons beyond our visit that go into those declines, but to be a part of turning the tides on these awful trends - it means the world.

These men & women go through great suffering serving our country. Even w no “bullets fired,” imagine being “on the ready” halfway arnd the world, w 3 or 4 nearby enemy countries having eyes & weapons on you at all times.

This Memorial Day we honor all those we have lost - in duty & from the wars taking place in their minds. Thank you!🇺🇸

#5in5 #memorialday #veterans #activeduty #war #memorialday2025 #mentalhealth

Thought abt this concept when watching the Knicks game last nt. Sport is such a great metaphor for life. A few example from the NBA, & then transitioning it to our everyday experiences:

A loss late in the playoffs only hurts that much more - to players, to fans, because of how far you’ve already advanced. You have a chance to lose what you already “have” - a magical run & possibilities.

When a player on a team is the 11th man/woman, & never gets off the bench…this is someone who for their entire lives was told how great they were, advanced to the highest leagues, won titles & awards, only to be watching - feeling like they aren’t good enough to contribute at that level.

The team’s Legends sitting in the crowd & cheering the team on - they remember what it’s like for their world to revolve arnd Ws & Ls, to be the toast of the town…now they watch as they grow grayer & others in their prime - receive the attention/have the fun of playing.

Just some examples, but w every great thing these athletes have - they also deal w the inevitable (& that’s the key word bc none of us get to keep things forever) loss, that can jar someone even more, from the great heights they once felt.

With pros so many skeptically say: Big deal, they make millions…cry me a river. But the examples above hurt, no matter how much $ you have. $ doesn’t cover up loss of things we love.

Take it out of sport - humans compare. We ask: Why did that person grow up w both parents, & mine were divorced? But similarly - what someone “has,” that we don’t - often is felt later in life as a tremendous loss (bc OF what they once had).

And so the takeaway is - maybe we learn to make do w what we DO have, now. Maybe our lack “compared” to others, is teaching us greater resiliency, meaning, purpose, drive. No matter our lot, we ALL deal w change & loss: it just happens at diff times in our lives & in diff ways. Pain is pain tho: #5in5

#SameHere🤙 #loss #grief #mourning #emotionalpain #comparisons #yinyang #mentalhealth

These two programs were shared w me arnd the same time last wk, & so I felt it was appropriate to discuss both in the context of programs that are positioned to us to be helpful, but are actually making matters worse.

First you have a suicide screener. One parent reached out to me from NY & said her kid left the office saying he didn’t want to see this doc any more. Apparently the doc had given him the card you see on slide 2➡️, no context for why he was asking the question, no discussion. The kid wasn’t bringing up signs he’d been struggling. So…the best practice is to have him fill out a card, the 1st question of which is: “In the past few wks, have you wished you were dead?” I checked w 3 parents in 3 other states, & they confirmed the same happened w their children.

I’m all for proactive suicide DISCUSSION, thru EDUCATION, abt how trauma is felt by all of us, & what CAN happen if we become so dysregulated that we start to experience self harm error messages. I am NOT for jarring a kid who has no context, & asking a series of questions abt death & suicide, w/o discussion. Talk about scaring someone INTO a worse MH spot. What are we doing?

3rd slide is Canada’s MAiD program: Medical Assistance in Dying. Yes, that’s the name. And circled on the brochure is: it may take up to 4 months to find counseling, but you can die by MAiD in just 3 months. You have that right - a program that acknowledges counseling may help, is saying - why suffer a possible extra month if you can end things sooner.

These program are just 2 examples that lack empathy, EQ, compassion, & hope. They talk abt suicide in awful ways that SET BACK help seeking: 1) in scaring kids away from talking abt the topic, the other in saying - it’s faster & more efficient to die, than to wait for help.

We have so many factors in our new fast-paced world working against us, that the last thing we need is programs positioned as “help,” making matters worse.

Hope hearing of these helps you avoid them, & keeps them away from your kids if you agree. Share to help other fams avoid these programs.

#SaneHere🤙 #5in5 #maid #suicideprevention #programs #mentalhealth #assistedsuicide #suicidescreeners

Had such an incredible experience this wknd that gave us even more motivation to continue on the same path, that I wanted to share it w those of you who read these, in the hopes it 1) highlights how much more the same we really are than what you typically hear, & 2) motivates you to keep going w whatever you’re passionate about.

I met @jordanmeyers from @findingalostvoice in 2019. He’s a musician, I’m not. He went to school to play in the band, I didn’t. Tho he can shoot some hoops, he didn’t walk on to his college basketball team. He grew up in FL, me in NY. But we connected - over common pain we’d experienced in our own lives, & wanting to help others not experience that pain.

Fast fwd, Tony, Jordan’s friend from the music world, was putting together a big roller hockey tourney - & wanted Jordan’s charity & another national charity, to be involved. That’s where Tony & I got to meet.

Welll the tourney was this wknd. @butteryrollerco putting on @wheelingforwellness. Met so many amazing ppl. And at the end (next slide), Tony surprised Jordan & I w custom jerseys w our org’s names on the back, signed by every team captain.

On the front shoulder was a “23” in a blue/purple suicide ribbon. I asked why that #. Tony told us it was bc he’d lost his great friend, Abdullah, to suicide 7yrs ago. Hence the motivation for our MH charities to be involved.

I then asked if Abdullah’s fam was present. He said they were, & he was abt to present them w their own jerseys. We asked if we could go speak w the fam. What resulted was 30 min of absolute love - btwn ppl who’ve never met, look completely diff, are diff ages, & from diff parts of the world (Abdullah’s dad is Palestinian but lived in Israel, & mom is from Venezuela (she’s a breast cancer survivor).

The commonality of our emotional pain bonded all of us: Jordan’s story is not mine. He & I didn’t lose a son to suicide. But…our missions & philosophies couldn’t be more aligned.

Much like fams like @cherylmcbrown have become my fam, so too are Abdullah’s crew, now fam. You don’t want to meet THIS way…but when you do - you realize how much the SAME we are deep down.

#SameHere🤙 #5in5 #suicideprevention #hockey